Tetris Thinking

It's like playing Tetris and you think you have your shit together on level 9 when all of a sudden that mother fucking dissimilar oblong looking pariah of a geometrical mess drops more unexpectedly and faster than an ill-advised bowel movement after an Exlax milkshake.

It doesn't correspond in nature or structure and it's quick descent forces you to think quickly. Your reaction is a standard detour from the distinguished tongue: 'Fuckin' bitch!'

And then before you can even finish spouting out the word 'bitch' an upright elongated column drops from the unforgiving Tetris heavens and parks itself on your haphazard tower of Jenga atrocity, full of holes and impending doom.

And at that point it's too little and too late. The game signifies your suckyness by making that sound effect that sounds eerily similar to a duck getting a prostate exam or something, and the screen is full of blocks.

And you're so determined to set it right in the next game. Clean slate. But the effects and remnants from the initial game carry over into the next and in a haste panic to get back to where you were at level 9, you screw up early on.

At this point, your confidence is shot after bowing at at level 2. Your level of annoyance is only rivaled by a retarded clown who out smarts you and twists your nipples repeatedly.

That's what the hell happened people. Things started slow, sped up and I just couldn't manage how fast it was shaping up for me.

Sometimes I say to myself, 'shit, I wanna rock that brown paper bag over my head' because I suck so bad at Tetris... but then I remind myself that it would be a huge disservice to girls who are seeking pleasant looking faces. SNAP! But I might do it anyways.

This Tetris thing is obviously a metaphor for something else ...

I wish I could situate all of it and make it fit nicely like it once did. Perhaps I should stick to colors instead of shapes, Dr. Mario.