Peace Out!

There's always something bewitching and unsettling when it comes to saying goodbye to people who you are only vaguely familiar with and you aren't sure how to bid farewell.

Hand shake? Fist pound or knuckle knocking explosion in unison, or a risky attempt at an elaborate thugged out, seemingly choreographed handshake that typically ends in some half ass man hug?

Whatever. I'm the "just throw two at 'em" kinda guy who just says peace with a sideways peace sign. I have clammy hands, which makes hand contact impossibly awkward, especially when it's with another dude.

My clammy hands effectively make the hand exchange seem more gay than a collective of wizards poofing fashion trends while blogging about Sex and the City at the same time. That's pretty gay, my friend.

There's not many things more awkward than someone trying to shake your balled up fist too. Don't be foolish people, if I extend a firm fist, it is not summoning your palm, so please refrain from making an ass out of the two of us., please.

Unless you genuinely thought we were playing the interactive version of rock, paper, scissors and you were showing me how paper is capable of suffocating rock, you are certainly not and never will be dope ass.

But I'm liking the revival of the Medieval handshake where forearms are grabbed ... the Japanese bow works too, and shit, even the Middle Eastern man kiss is less gay than an uncoordinated, misguided plunge in coolness when two people fumble their way through a good bye.