I enjoy beginning blogs the very same way I end them: abruptly. Therefore, it should come as no surprise when I say my dating life has been pretty damn dry lately. Like a tandori lightning blast of tofu-chipotle-mint flavored chorizoless rancid battery acid cake.
That's actually too much taste and shitty flavor in the aforementioned ridiculous description, which is not off the mark.
There's a vague interest I have in acting before thinking, and making statements that blanket and shroud the expected. That said, I digress ... a lottle.
I clearly work with the premonition of leaving spaces blank and acting out of left field but there's some method to today's blog about the ladies and escaping them ...
What the hell could he possibly be talking about??
It's a facile exercise in lampooning every laughable cliche possible at the very mention of my love life right now, which is non-existent. But I like it that way, within reason of course.
Wow, I just revealed a dope-less moment about myself in this blog!! Yes, I'm more bold than an indecent proposal forwarded to your grandma via my iPhone. (She'll never get it anyways, so chill).
Snap!? Your mother's mom whets the appetite. If this blog were a food product it would likely be a dope ass burger. Werd.
Gotta love how I aimlessly try to work in visuals with the blogging. This awesome video by Fujiya & Miyagi echos my efforts. Fujiya and Miyagi - Knickerbocker
But since there's nothing electric (more like erratic) happening in that department (girls, not burgers), I should leave that aggressive blend of fact and fiction to debate. I won't though. Why has it been so lackluster you ask?
A truly satisfactory answer demands equal measures of hard science and hard liquor, but put simply, it's either my ability to suppress yawns has diminished or I'm more concerned with being as unrestrained as the wind. But I'm still truly enjoying the luxury of being single, no interpretation is needed for that. Dating is fun for now.
But in keeping melody with abrupt subject matter, you know you're dope if you are in the midst of planning a trip to the bowels of outer space and you don't even have to vomit profusely during space training or even leave Texas for that matter to get there.
I experience the most overwhelmingly peculiar things, which merits me saying I am awesome, more times than you care to register.
Not because I feel I have suffered unrequited recognition or anything, but because it's a genuine goal of mine to keep everyone (and myself) on their toes. It also helps that I can make a discussion about toilet paper taped to the business end of your shoe seem engaging.
"Now he would never write the things that he had saved to write until he knew enough to write them well." -- Ernest Hemingway
Dog shit on the pavement is strikingly similar to writing about boring things like how I feel or what what I will eat or listen to today. You want to avoid stepping in that heaping, smelly pile of feces at all costs. Instead, I do stupid (dope?) things for the sake of experience.
And that, my friend, is why I enjoy bizarre musings. Like living in a real leper colony in Hawaii, jogging in Israel with soldiers, hiking up the grand canyon to sit on a calcified stoop to pray to the New Mexcio Zim Gods, as I plead for a new pair of running moccasins.
So with a nothing-to-write-home-about love life, coupled with a ravenous hunger to absorb some quirky punches to the solar plexus of life, I've decided to take a little escape. A vacation, if you will. Something to get the bloodflow hot and heavy again.
There are many things people do to escape. Some get on a bike. Getting a new job is popular, or altering your routine in life. Others massage apathy into their meanderings and some bury themselves in sand and let beach crabs cramp their style. Some guys will retreat to a female's bosom. I prefer to do things on my own accord, by myself, and enjoying every step of the way. Hopefully, I'll have enough money. And if you were wondering what the sound of pennies being thrown sounds like, listen to this dope sound.
The Cool Kids -- "Pennies" MP3
I'll be celebrating the day I jumped out of my mother's womb next month (I think the world will be honoring this day too by simultaneously making the most obscene and grotesque face at noon ... sort of like a personal flash mob, but in my name). So I'm headed to Marfa, TX to honor that day.
Marfa is synonymous with "what the fuck's there?" Answer: Nothing. But therein lies the beauty. Art in open space, mingling with small town locals, watching the Marfa lights and soaking up the western frontier.
Before you continue reading, to gauge my mindset about Marfa, listen to this song. It explains why I'm going I think. It's a little bit of a somber, bombed-out hippie vibe with acoustics that gently strum your reclining thoughts into an unkown world. Word.Fleet Foxes -- "Blue Ridge Mountains" MP3
To gird my oversized ego is not a goal in going there. I will not be heading there to court local country bumpkin girls, though of course, I'm never opposed to it. It's more of an escape, remember? An escape to somewhere completely different. In the morally uncomplicated landscape of the fraternal picture, it's bros before hos, of course. Some friends will likely meet me there.
Once this trip is over my summer list of accomplishments will look like a heavyweight marshmellow sex stud with a swirling mustache in bed. And then ACL will cap it all off!
It will be sublimely silly and I'll never win points for tidiness in going to a destination with a purpose and goal, and I would never have it any other way.
ROAD TRIP! All you really have to do ... just do shit out of the blue, abruptly. !!!
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